


Can't Drive Us Apart!

by ChipsNsalsa



Category: Splatoon
Genre: F/F, NOW IN COLOR!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-07
Updated: 2019-04-07
Packaged: 2020-01-06 02:04:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18378695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChipsNsalsa/pseuds/ChipsNsalsa
Summary: The banter announcing the hare vs tortoise splatfest got a little heated . Is this a sign that there's trouble in paradise or is it really all in the name of fun?Perhaps it's just history repeating itself.Okay so I went back to edit some formatting issues and put some color on it when I kinda started to rewrite and add onto  some parts.





	Can't Drive Us Apart!

Don't get cooked…

Stay off the hook!

The duo pose in front of the camera until the light turns off. As soon as it's off Pearl immediately goes for her phone grumbling.

“Wow that splatfest banter was horrible!”Marina was nervously messing with her turntables. Hopefully the other girl didn't actually think she was serious.

“Yeah that was some serious carp and I'm gonna find out who wrote that and...and.. I don't know yet but it ain't gonna be pretty” she adjusted her crown.

“Well let me know if you find out who and I'll bring the shovels.” She could breathe a little easier now, knowing no feelings were hurt. She braved a glance at the rapper but was startled.

Pearl's entire body language was screaming, "I am gonna gut somebody." She had the phone to her ear, Her scowl was so vicious it would scare off even the bravest salmonids , the only physical movement she was doing at the moment was menacingly tapping her foot in a disjointed rhythm. she was ready to attack someone. May the great zapfish have mercy on the poor soul who answers the phone….

...or maybe not that dialogue really was garbage.

What shocks her the most is that Pearl is really mad. Like really really mad. It's probably not a good idea for her to do this when they are still visible. 

The DJ looks out the window and notices that everyone on the outside are all on their phones. In fact, one inkling was so distracted by their phone they ran straight into a pole. They just sit on the floor furiously typing away. There's a few inklings sitting in pairs whispering to each other but other than that it is eerily quiet in the square. 

The DJ walks towards the window to get a better look. It's almost as if no one wants to be the one to break the silence. 

##  **“OH MY COD NO ONE IS PICKING UP!”**

Pearl winces slightly when she sees Marina jump a foot in the air and some stuff go tumbling off her turntable.

“My bad mar, but these COWARDS are sending me straight to voicemail.” 

Pearl throws herself out of her chair and starts pacing. “If they think this shit is gonna fly with Off the Hook they got another thing coming. They are **NOT** gonna tear us apart like they did the Squid Sisters.”  Her hands go straight to pulling on her tentacles, dislodging her crown and making it dangle precariously over her head.

“Wait what's that about the Squid Sisters?” Marina was confused. The Squid Sisters were supposed to be on a hiatus, at least they were until Callie got kidnapped.”

“Yeah they made th-” Pearl stopped pacing when she realized they were still very visible in the newsroom. “Uh actually lets go to the back I'll show you something.” 

Grabbing Marina's hand, Pearl kicked the hallway door open angrily and started jogging down the hall. It wasn't that hard to keep up with her and as soon as they got to the backroom Pearl flopped down on her bean bag chair, grabbed a pillow, and screamed into it, causing the glass in the room to vibrate. 

Now Marina was getting concerned. Pearl was someone who gets more frustrated than angry. And when she does get upset she's ready to fix what's bothering her. But this doesn't seem like a problem a fight can fix. Right now it looks like Pearl could use some comfort so she sits down next to her and rubs circles into her back, “You said something about the splatfests tore the Squid Sisters apart?”

Pearl took a minute to bury her face into the pillow and when she got up Marina didn't say anything about the wet spots on it. Taking a few deep breaths to calm herself, Pearl got back to her explanation. 

“Okay so I know you never got to really see the splatfest announcements since you weren't...around back then and then after you were here we were busy working on Off the Hook all the time. Pearl smiles fondly at the memory.  But anyways, we both know Callie and Marie were doing the announcements and then after a while they 'took a break' from the news and we took over right?” Pearl finger quotes and rolls her eyes when she says,” took a break”.

"So the hiatus was faked?"

“Actually no.” Pearl starts typing on her phone. “The insults started to trickle in slowly, almost invisible until it was in every single splatfest and then it started to leak into the news.” She scoots closer and shows her a bunch of old articles.

#  SHOCKING!!! 

Squid Sisters found brawling outside restaurant!!

There's a blurry picture of what looks like Marie helping Callie off the floor. There's pastries scattered all over the place and it seems like their disguises came off. It's really hard to tell what's happening but it hardly looks like a fight happened. 

# TEMPERS FLARE AS INSULTS GO FLYING!!!

The Squid Sisters show their true colors!!

This picture is less blurry quality. It looks like they're backstage at a concert or something. They both are giving each other a pissed off look.

“There's more but these were the first two I remembered and I actually know the stories behind these.  She scrolls back up to the first one and points at blurry Callie in the picture.  Callie and Marie wanted to go get some donuts from The Baked Lemon. Callie tripped and ate shit on the concrete which made her disguise fall off and then people recognized them. Now everyone was **CRAZY** about the Squid Sisters which means shitty news outlets wanted to get famous and shit so they made up drama.

She scrolls down to the second article. The guy who took this pic was paparazzi guy that got banned from their concerts for being an ass. So he was salty for getting banned so he snuck backstage at one of their concerts and was annoying both of them.  Pearl took her phone back and was typing away again.  But those pics were taken out of context and are pretty weak right?”

“I guess, but we have a ton of articles like that coming out daily and we’re still as strong as ever. There's no way some petty lies tore apart the Squid Sisters."

“Yeah but those were all made before the art vs science splatfest.” Pearl sets her crown on the floor beside the bean bag. “Y'see after Marie lost the 'fest the writers put a dig at Callie in the script and the news went WILD.”  Pearl handed her the phone back.

# HAS MARIE'S SALT SPILLED OVER?

Marie takes petty jab at Callie over splatfest.

“It was mostly the same stations trying to get relevance by using drama but then the naughty vs nice splatfest added more fuel to the fire.” 

Marina skims through the next few articles and the articles are shocking. Pearl cranes her neck, trying to see which article Marina's reading.

# HIDDEN HATRED???

Callie exposes Marie's selfish agenda on live tv!!! 

# CALLIE THROWS SHADE AT MARIE!!!

It looks like catfests are the new splatfests.

# SQUID SISTERS NOT-SO-SECRETLY HATE EACH OTHER!!

Trading insult after insult, who is going to leave?

# INSIDE SOURCES SAY,” SQUID SISTERS ARE DONE!!!

Anger and frustration reach boiling point.

"And these were all written after the naughty vs nice splatfest?"She doesn't even bother to skim the articles because there's so many. She just scrolls by them. It's not even the same stations anymore.

“Yeah, there's a lot right? But then early bird vs night owl blew all those out the water.” She readjusts herself so she can rest her chin on Marina's shoulder and see the phone.

# SQUID SISTERS AT EACH OTHER THROATS

New splatfest brings out the worst!

# SQUID SISTERS ENDING THEIR CAREERS?!

Is hostility spoiling the fun?

# HOW FAR IS TOO FAR?

Squid sisters not holding back insults!

# IS IT TIME FOR THE SQUID SISTERS TO GO SOLO?!

Sources say they refuse to speak to each other.

They spend a few minutes scrolling past all of the articles when Pearl breaks the silence. “Of course the splatfest after that was Callie vs Marie and they were trying to make people riled up on purpose.” Pearl took her phone back and set it next to her crown. “And the worst part was some of those articles were right.”

“What do you mean they were right!?”

The scripts kept adding more jabs and insults and soon it started to bleed into their actual conversations. I don't think they ever realized what had happened. In fact, the only reason I noticed was cuz I had a weird feeling of deja vu.”

Marina now understood how it drove them apart. “And you think they're going to do it again?

Pearl buried her face into the DJ's shoulder and mumbled, “I think it's already been happening.

They both sat in a gloomy silence for a few seconds before Marina spoke up.

“Well they can try all they want but I'll always be team Pearlie.” She turns towards the rapper with a warm smile and wraps her up in a hug.

For the first time since the announcements, Pearl cracks a smile. “Guess that means I'm on team Marina.” 

Pearl was okay with the weird sideways hug they had going on but right now she just wanted to be held in Marina's strong arms. She waited a few more seconds before she bit the bullet and scooted the rest of the way into Marina's lap. 

It's rare that Pearl allows herself to be the held so this must be really getting under her skin. She picks up Pearl and adjusts their position on the beanbag so that Pearl is laying on her. "I know we've had our fair share of speed bumps and rough patches and we only recently just started dating but I want you to know that it's gonna take more than some stupid paparazzi to make me hate you."

Pearl softly chuckles,“Heh it'd take a whole lot to fool you and that big brain of yours.”

Marina's hair tentacle is lazily writing letters on her back. If she wasn't being lulled to sleep she might have been able to make out what the words are. 

"We might not be able to control the script but we can control our reactions to it."

"Yeah but I'm still gonna kick someone's ass tomorrow."

**Author's Note:**

> I was gonna try to write something not pearlina but then the splatfest dialogue happened and people needed a bandaid.


End file.
